Mindy & Me: Duante Diallo

As promised, today kicks off my week of “Mindy & Me”, a collection of concerns/happenings that Mindy Kaling and I have in common based on her book, “Is Everyone Handing Out Without Me (and other concerns)“.

(I secretly hope she reads one of these, and/or any other posts on my blog, so she can see how similarly we rant; that means, tweet and share this collection this week as much as possible friends, thanks!)

So we kick off with Mindy’s short story about Duante Diallo; the asshole that made her formative years in middle school awful.

Surprise surprise, I had one of those too; I’ll call him Bruce, for all intents and purposes. Bruce wasn’t as good-looking-star-athlete-from-a-foreign-country as Duante, but still got under my skin and also made my formative years of MS/HS awful.

Bruce’s antics and low self-esteem (I’m sure) brought my self-esteem down to the ground… like, dragging behind me and pulling me down. It wasn’t until I went to college that I was able to get it together and love myself… yada yada.

The biggest issue I see is that guidance counselors and parents don’t do much to help you get through it; especially when you’re a girl bullied by a boy. Boys are told to “man up!” and serve it right back to the bully whereas, like Gigi preaches in the opening of He’s Just Not That Into You, girls are “…encouraged… no, programmed(!) to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.” This is where our problem lies! (Minds: we should totally rally together behind this – get Michelle Obama involved, etc.)

Below are some tidbits of Mindy’s short story about Duante – situations I know too well.

Duante was also, unfortunately, a tyrannical asshole…he fixated on me early in the year as being overweight and was open with his observation. At first it had the veneer of niceness. For example, once I was getting a drink of water in the hallway where he and his friends were standing.

Duante: You would actually be really pretty if you lost weight.

…I was hurt, but I rationalized that maybe Duante had been around only extremely thin African girls… By winter, I had not lost weight and in fact had gained about ten more pounds. This really bothered Duante. I think he felt he had gone out of his way to give me some valuable advice and I had chosen not to follow it, therefore insulting him. One day in February , I walked into the freshman center, he stopped mid-conversation with his friends and gestured to me.

Duante: Speaking of whales…

I loved all the side effects of losing the weight, but the reason I did it was so that Duante would stop making fun of me… but he didn’t. One day I was walking down the hallway to class and passed him…

Duante: Remember when Mindy was like (blow out his cheeks to make a fat face) a whale?

They all laughed. Come on, dude. Remember when? I’m getting made fun of because I used to be fat?

That was when I realized that bullies have no code of conduct.”
- Duante Diallo story: pages 14-17

As previously mentioned, I believe bullying thrives on insecurity. Just like Duante, Bruce hasn’t found his way either. I, on the other hand, am very much fabulous and successful, carrying my self-esteem around with me like a crown. Perhaps not as “flawless” as Beyoncé in the morning, but totally trying to get here.

Thank you, Mindy, for sharing your story with the world. I wish there were books like this when I was growing up (maybe there were but I wasn’t reading them), it may have helped me bypass the whole “it’s because he likes you” thing.

 

Froid, Frio, Freddo

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Froid (French)

Frio (Spanish)

Freddo (Italian)

I thought that maybe saying “cold” in other languages might make me feel less abused by the unbearable winds that slapped me unapologetically across the face this morning. I was wrong.

It still feels just as cold as it did this morning and I’m frustrated. What is with this weather? I mean, I really am one of Winters’ biggest fans. But, like, this is getting a bit excessive and quite uncomfortable. It’s sad. I mean, look at that selfie above.

I look like Jon Snow, in The North, in the snow.

Stay warm friends. It will all be over soon. Spring is coming.

George Clooney

I haven’t felt inspired to write anything as of late out of pure exhaustion and lack of time, until this morning…when I saw the cover of the Esquire December 2013 issue.

George Clooney is timeless. Look at this man. After stumbling on this cover, I was immediately inspired to Google image him in his glory and compile images for you.

I mean… who ages so graciously? He may not be everyone’s cup-of-tea, but he’s def mine. And I know, I know, “he’s old!” But come on ladies. This man is more handsome than most “men” our age.

Let’s take a moment and bask in all of him:

I Broke Tears for Breaking Bad

You know a show is well done when you’ve never watched an episode and you manage to cry during the series finale.

Last night, after I watched the Jets lose to the Titans and the movie Couples Retreat, my sister told me that she’d be changing the channel to AMC by 9PM to watch it. Since I do not have a lounge chair or desk in my room yet to do my school work, I was forced to hang in the living room and watch; I need to start this bedroom makeover STAT.

I was immediately completely intrigued. I closed my laptop, because I knew I’d get zero “reading” done, and watched with her. I cried like a child!

Mainly because I’m so emphatic, but also because I could see the pain in this man’s eyes. It was evident that things were coming to an end because he was trying to make everything right with everyone: leave $9M to my family, threaten the dbags, kill all the bad guys, see my wife/baby for the last time, see my son for the last time, free the good guy, and then die exactly where and how it all started.

Now I’m all like…

must

make

time

to

watch

5

seasons

of

this

show.

Meanwhile, Breaking Bad fans, like my coworker @KaylalaMoriarty, are going through serious post mortem emotional feelings:

Kayla_BrBaTweet

In addition to her feelings this morning,

I got the closure I needed to go to work today, but am wallowing in my despair of the destruction and loss it took to get here.
I am starting a breaking bad support group.
Walter White will make an excellent new zombie in the Walking Dead.
I swear to god, if Homeland pulls this shit, I will just die.
Breaking Bad is the #1 reason I am in support of Obamacare.
Breaking Bad made meth sexy again.
Where is Huell?????

Marriage & Jessica Biel

Is it just me or does marriage look REALLY good on Jessica Biel? I didn’t even recognize her in this photo at Fashion Week on WhoWhatWear. I guess being married to JT does the job?

Here are some other recent “WOW” Jessica Biel Timberlake moments:

ps: if JBT can rock an ombre in the Fall, so can I

this shoot for ELLE Magazine is beautiful – click to see more images

Listen Up Magazines

ElleMasthead

Dear ELLE/Hearst specifically,

This isn’t the first time you do this to me, and I’m sure it won’t be the last, but I need to vent.

I know sales are ROUGH but you shouldn’t be assuming that because I click-through from your email marketing, and sign up for a giveaway, that I want to subscribe to the magazine. Nor should you be auto-filling check boxes to trick me into subscribing. Subsequently, you send me one issue by mail and contact me weekly about owing you $10 for x quantity of issues? It’s dishonest and annoying.

Every time this happens I have to call your Customer Service and tell them that I never wanted the subscription, y’all just pre-checked a box on some form that I missed, and that I am not paying the money. I get it, I really do – no one wants you to fold. But you must find another way to sell your magazines in an honest and mutually beneficial way.

With love,

Alex Suazo

Make August Count

Gone are the days of doing nothing from 6PM until bedtime, i.e. my life for the past few months. My awesome weight loss results feel like eons ago and the pounds I’ve gained back are haunting me everyday.

I’m dedicating August, AKA “last-month-of-free-happy-life-because-I-start-my-Masters-in-September,” to getting off as much of the 30 lbs I put back on… off. I’m hoping a double-punch of daily bootcamp and a strict meal plan will help me get there. Moreover, stumbling on this GIF this morning was so right, and so inspirational. I’m making August count, big time. Are you?

All the while, I rather be somewhere like this every day of August. But, you know, priorities.

Comedy & Boat Parties

I guess I should be joyful that my birthday is this week? Meh, I don’t know. I’m a bit unimpressed with turning one-year-closer-to-30, but I’m going to try to make the best of it.

Since my sister’s graduated, come home, and not paid attention to me, I’ve decided to reassess my fun-o-meter because I’m only getting older here and life’s too short.

Moreover, I kicked off my birthday week with an awesome weekend full of comedy and a boat party! Firstly, I must recommend Levity Live at the Palisades Mall.

Comedian/acquaintance, Mark Demayo, hilarious BTW – def worth seeing, headlined at Levity, and so when I was casually invited to a show this past Friday I couldn’t resist. I got to see headliner Aries Spears, who was amazing. Among the many impressions he graced us with, he also performed this freestyle – the man impersonated LL Cool J, Snoop Dog, DMX and JAY Z …to a tee.

Close your eyes while you listen, he is completely on point. The Jay Z verse especially:

Regarding a boat party? Awesome things happened aboard the Noise/Be Magnifico boat Sunday night, most of which were captured in several vines, like this one and this one. Beautiful views and unlimited drinks. How can any of that be wrong?

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mandoonyc_IG_1

courtesy of @mandoonyc on instagram

mandoonyc_IG_2

courtesy of @mandoonyc on instagram

In short, I’m really just turning 25 again right?

JCPenney & Hitler

Did you guys hear about this? This JCPenney billboard in California?

BizInsider_JCP

[click to read more]

Apparently everyone driving by it thinks it has a “striking resemblance with Adolf Hitler.”
It honestly took me a while to really see it, and now that I do… I can see why people would think that.

HitlerKettle_JCP

But Jesus, talk about beating a dead horse. Poor JCPenney is already struggling so much with their consumers. Why punish them for a design resemblance that’s a real STRETCH of the imagination to begin with? I agree, maybe not the smartest product to feature on a gargantuan billboard, but why don’t we cut them some slack this time around?

If you don’t care about owning a really cool tea kettle that, when stared at for a long period of time, might maybe resemble Hitler, it’s available on JCPenny.com for $40.