7 Annoying Ways Dudes Have it Easier than Chicks

As a “chick” I enjoy the hell out of the Bro antics of BroBible.com, thanks to @dondondonner for the intro a couple of months ago.

As the “girl with lots of guy friends” – I love the male perspective on almost everything. It’s a breath of fresh air, especially after nights out with the girls making bad decisions; or the truth you need to hear about that guy you met that isn’t calling back.


________________________________________________

I have to disagree with BroBible though when they write about chicks having it easier! Sure, maybe in these specific 5 ways, and yes we are still taking over the world embracing those 5 ways, but… at the end of the day, there are more than 5 ways dudes have it easier than chicks, and they are not just annoying but infuriating.

1-3 are in response to the latest “5 Annoying Ways Chicks Have It Easier Than Dudes” on BroBible, the rest are just obvious things that Krum forgot.

1. Nightlife: it might cost you your arm, sack, and left toe to be that schmuck with VIP bottle service like the watering hole for the hot gazelle’s at the club, but I can bet you those same gazelle’s spend more time waiting on line for the bathroom than giving that schmuck any attention. Face the facts, dudes pee in a matter of seconds, no TP required, the line is always shorter, and it just isn’t fair.

2. Hooking up: Once a female is at a certain level of intoxication, ball is in your court. You’d be surprised at how often chicks don’t get approached and are sitting and waiting for the opp to just leave with the first guy that does. You don’t think that if we’re smart enough to run the world, we haven’t figured out that we should not be trying to find our dream guy at a club on a Friday night? Awesome if it works out, but YEAH RIGHT. After 12AM, you can have whatever you want, may not be your flavor, but you’ll get some ice cream if you care for it.

3. Working out: Sorry Krum, but most chicks need a lot more that 20 minutes on the elliptical. Those that actually work hard to be hotter and in shape find dudes’ workouts to be a JOKE. All you need to do is lift some weights, do a little cardio, eat grilled chicken, egg whites, protein shake and muscle milk, and before you know it Fatty McFatter from the local library can be front and center on beefcake central bagging chicks in less than 2 months if he wanted to. While back at the ranch, local Weight Watchers rather, chicks are counting points equivalent to the food they’re eating praying to God they lose .05 lbs by next weigh-in.

4. Kids: You don’t give birth…unless you’re Thomas Beatie. Nor do you get a monthly reminder of the fact that you can.

5. Hair: Unless you’re Pauly D, your hair is far easier and faster to manage. While we’re on the topic… it’s also easier for you to get dressed at any point of the day, be-it in the morning for work, or right before the cabs arrive to go out.

6. Money: You’ll probably always get paid more than us, from CEO to waitress, “Yet nearly half a century later, in the first three months of 2012, women still earned only 82.2 percent of what men earned.” (source)

One more, just to bring it back full circle,

7. Nightlight Part 2: Most of you (with the exception of like 60% of NYC men) are taller than us, therefore while I’m NOT at the schmuck’s VIP watering hole and shoving to get past you to get the bartenders attention, you’ve already made eye contact with him or her over my head, and they’re off pouring you and your dudes’ Jameson shots.

So yea Krum et BroBible, let’s be serious here… who REALLY has it easier?


Agree, disagree? Comment below!

About these ads

6 thoughts on “7 Annoying Ways Dudes Have it Easier than Chicks

  1. Pingback: Eat Yo Beats | 7 Annoying Ways Dudes Have It Easier Than Chicks: A Rebuttal

  2. WHAT!!!!!!!!!! Okay I’m a dude, 6 feet tall, and #7 HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME!!!! Trust me your body and tits gets the bartenders attention more than my height does so for me girl complaint #7 doesn’t actually happen, you girls STILL have the advantage with your boobies trust me! I’m also gonna have to say #1 is stupid for me. You girls are complaining about how long it takes to pee? I’d trade my large bladder and standing up pee style for your cheap/free drinks and access to casual sex any day!!! Cheaper drinks and an easier time finding a mate is waaaay better than the slight convenience males get when we pee standing. #6 is a legitimate complaint, but all the girls I know have more than I do at my age (25) either because they married a wealthy dude or because their family actually gives them things (my ex girlfriends parents, who are Jewish, bought their daughter a 2012 volkswagen jetta like it was nothing, then paid off her student loans). Maybe I should just date women who match my income bracket huh? lol

  3. 1: Really, comparing having the best drinks bought for you by a guy who has to work harder at his job to afford that VIP table VS longer lines to the bathroom????

    2: Hooking up: Women don’t get that if they actually make the first move and are not morbidly obese, they WILL get LAID. In fact, if women took a more active role in choosing guys maybe they would be able to avoid the jerks better, instead of sitting around like deer in headlights.

    3: Working out: to quote my sister “JUST EAT LESS” its simple, girls just need to not be fat. Look at diets of skinny foreign countries (Italy/France), they don’t have 3 course meals and super sized portions. Don’t want to run more than 20 min, just don’t eat so damn much. Guys work outs a joke? Lifting 100’s of pounds repeatedly while consuming massive amounts of sht tasting liquid? Muscle mass plateaus after a short time of lifting, you really gotta push it to keep gaining, just look at their faces when lifting. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVAVG7_pw9M

    4: Birth: Lucky for you there is modern medicine… IE: birth control and an EPIDURAL. Heck some even make it so u only have FOUR periods a YEAR. Compare this with being a dude and constantly popping boners and having to constantly look for a place to stick it while competing with other males…. Men clearly have a higher sex drive (I’ll call this one a tie).

    5: Hair/Dressing: Kay, how about having to be the boyfriend that pays for all your girlfriends nice clothes and stuff? Guys actually gotta work for things. (See # 1)

    6: Wage gap: Doesn’t exist – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christina-hoff-sommers/wage-gap_b_2073804.html

  4. Let me just add that I am NOT a feminist in any way, shape, size, or form. Do you go through child birth? Are you forced to have a period every month, along with blood, acne, cramps, and PMS? NO! Do you take care of the household along with your own job? Do you get forced to sleep with someone to get a promotion? Are you the one who is presenting, and everyone is staring at your chest instead of your presentation? And what about girls, who have to shave their legs, apply makeup, and change their last name in order to have a family? And if all you people argue about physical labor, you could easily become a businessman and sit in a restaurant all day.

    The world is your urinal.

    If a woman has sex, she’s a s l u t. If a man has sex, he’s a stud.
    If a man gets angry, he’s assertive. If a woman gets angry, she’s a bitch.

    If a woman gets pregnant, she’s irresponsible. If a man gets a woman pregnant, she’s irresponsible.

    If a woman raises a child alone, she’s selfish and a terrible mother. If a man raises a child alone, he’s noble.

    If a woman stands up for her rights, she’s a fat man-hating lesbian. If a man stands up for his rights, he’s a hero.

    If a woman is stalked by a man, she must have led him on. If a man is stalked by a woman, she’s a crazy psycho bitch.

    Stop whining. All you boys can’t stand a head cold.

    Yes, well, there’s a such thing called rape. Men do it. And if we didn’t prepare ourselves, we wouldn’t be able to have a family. Sex appeal, anyone? Women die in the army! Are you a fucking idiot? There are women in that army! We earn our own money and spend it on our own shit! We have jobs! Sadly, today in our society, there’s this stupid stereotype about women being the perfect housewife! NO! WE HAVE JOBS! REJECTION IS BECAUSE MEN ARE WHINY LITTLE PIGS LIKE YOU!

    • You know what? I’d love for chicks to stare at my chest, or better yet my crotch instead of my presentation! I’d love to screw my boss and get paid more out of it! Shaving legs, applying makeup, and changing last names sounds a lot easier than eating a ton, lifting hard and heavy, and sleeping 8 hours a day with a 12 hour a day investment banking job to get cash! Those reputations you just mentioned (slut vs stud, etc) – *who gives a damn*! If I were a chick I’d marry rich and screw every man I saw. Hell, if I was a good enough looking guy, I’d marry rich and screw every girl like Lil Wayne wants to! There’s no reason to care what others think of you if you’re getting what you want! …You could be set for life right now without doing much at all. All you’d have to do is find some rich guy and seduce him into marriage. Or strip. It should be fun to have others admire you, even if it’s as a sex object. It’s actually really easy to get a good life as a girl – even an ugly one. If you’re not satisfied with yours, you’re just not being slutty enough! (and btw, men actually *love* sluts. That word was made by women to attack women who were doing better than them by doing the smarter thing)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s